What Blair and Dan never realised
by HannahLQuestionMark
Summary: Set after 'Nobody Does It Better", this starts in a similar way to 'Nothing Can Keep Us Together'. Blair and Dan meet by chance and discover that they've got a lot in common- but one shaven headed New Yorker isn't so thrilled about it...
1. Chapter 1

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Sultry Summer Sizzle

Here on the Upper East Side, the sun shines a little brighter, the air's a little warmer and the scandal is infinitely more interesting. And all this heats means that no-one stays clothed for long. Perhaps it's the heat or the skimpy clothes, but my friends and I are always particularly raucous during the summer, and this one feels like it's going to be extra-sultry...

Not as easy getting into college as it is into each other's pants...

As our beloved B has recently discovered, getting into college isn't as easy as it seems. And now that she's into Yale, she should have everything she wants, but what she didn't plan on was catching S and N celebrating their admittance to Yale together... in the bath.

Sightings

S wandering around Central Park looking generally forlorn; what's up, sweetie? Feeling a little guilty, are we? But aside from that, there's been very little from S and N... Wonder why that could be? As for B, she's practically taken up residence in Barney's since her discovery last week... A little retail therapy makes everything better. D skulking around V's building... left some socks behind, did we? Anyway, V's with A... for now.

Your email

Q: Dear GG,

I keep seeing D moping around the city. I know he's not over V, but do you think he'd let me take his mind off of things, if you know what I mean?

- Lonely Poetess

A: Dear Lonely,

It's worth a try. Buy some thigh high boots and offer him some bad coffee and a smoke. The way to D's heart is filling him with chemicals.

Gossip Girl

Q: Dear Gossip Girl,

I've kind of had a crush on one of my students for a couple of years now, and she's graduating soon. Would it be totally inappropriate to ask her out?

BecksyBoy

A: Dear Becksy,

Yes.

-GG

Yes, things are rarely dull in the Upper East Side. And I have a feeling that things are really about to hot up. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl

B gives the people what they want

"Come on, Mrs. M," said Blair Warldorf exasperatedly, adjusting the position of her Dolce & Gabana alice band. She could see from mirror positioned behind her headmistress that she was looking good. So good, in fact, that it would be stupid to appoint anyone else as graduation speaker. Blair was the complete package. Okay, perhaps she wasn't quite as effortlessly charming as Serena van der Woodsen, her irritatingly gorgeous ex-best friend, but Serena was so absent-minded that she'd probably forget to even write the speech.

"I don't know, Blair," sighed Mrs. M. "I haven't even given the other girls a chance."

It took every last ounce of Blair's willpower to stop her from rolling her eyes. Who else was there to consider? Blair was an excellent public speaker, she was taking five A.P. classes and she was gorgeous. The few girls in at Constance Billiard who were more accomplished than Blair had absolutely no social skills and were disgustingly acne ridden. Not exactly ideal candidates. As for the rest, they were all just wannabe versions of Blair. And why settle for a cheap knockoff when you could have the real thing?

Why indeed?

"Mrs. M, I am the perfect advocate for this school," Blair told her earnestly, tapping her manicured coral nails against the headmistress' mahogany desk. "Can you really think of anyone better suited to the job?"

Mrs. M opened and closed her mouth, apparently unable to think of a single candidate. "I suppose not," she frowned. "But I ought to at least give the other girls a chance. We'd normally vote on this sort of thing."

"Look, none of the other girls even want the role of speaker," Blair lied. "Everyone's been telling me all week that I'm perfect for it."

"Really?" said Mrs. M, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes," Blair told her firmly. "Can you really see Kati and Isabel fighting over the position?" Actually, Blair could imagine this, which was precisely why she was here.

But shh.

"I suppose not," Mrs. M said again.

"Exactly. Give the people what they want, Mrs M," said Blair, fluttering her eyelashes.

Mrs M sighed in resignation. "Fine," she agreed, somewhat grudgingly, Blair couldn't help but notice. "You'd better get working on your speech then Blair. I don't want to regret this."

"Oh you won't," Blair grinned as she got up to leave. "I've already written it."

Desperately seeking V

Daniel Humphrey tapped his chewed-on pencil against his skull as he watched the clock. Was it just him, or was it being extra slow today? He could have sworn the clock knew when he was bored and slowed down, just to fuck with him.

Right...

Finally, when there were only thirty seconds to go, Dan's teacher, Mr Rowland, remembered that he had an announcement to make. Dan rolled his eyes. Mr Rowland was Riverside Prep's most notoriously forgetful teacher. But apparently, chicks found this endearing as it was rumoured that Mr Rowland had had a string of twenty-something girlfriends and was currently engaged to a nineteen year old Brazilian model. Dan couldn't see it somehow, but Chuck Bass claimed to have it on good authority.

Which makes it totally legit.

"I almost forgot- this year's graduation speaker is none other than Mr Daniel Humphrey! Congratulations, Dan!" Mr Rowland beamed.

What the fuck? Dan thought as he gathered up his things. Graduation speaker? That was crazy! Why the hell had his jackass classmates, who'd spent the last four years pretending that he didn't exist, vote him graduation speaker?

"Are you serious?" said Dan dubiously, suddenly afraid that this was some sort of lame-ass joke.

"Aw, no need to be modest, Danny-boy," Chuck Bass sneered from the back of the classroom. He looked completely ridiculous with new platinum blond highlights and purple monogrammed cashmere scarf.

"At least I know how," Dan shot back, surprised at himself. He gathered his books and walked swiftly out of the classroom, feeling incredibly confused. What would Vanessa say? She hated all this graduation-related, conventional establishment stuff. And then, with a horrible, cold, sinking feeling, Dan realised that it didn't matter what Vanessa thought, because they weren't together anymore.

Dan flopped down onto the nearest bench. How had it come to this? Every time things were working out for them, one of them always went and fucked it up. Had they really let some artsy girl and her stupid ferret get in the way of their relationship?

Now she was dating a Harvard bound hippy and rooming with an Upper East Side princess. It was like the Vanessa he'd known and loved was suddenly gone. She was moving on with her life whilst he... wasn't.

He needed to see her. Right now. Maybe they could work this out? Before he could talk himself out of it, Dan hailed a cab and set off towards Williamsburg. The driver tried to make idle conversation with him, but Dan was too preoccupied to listen. He only had one thing on his mind:

Vanessa.

The princess and the pauper

Dan leaned against the abrasive brick wall and sighed. As it turned out, Vanessa wasn't home yet and waiting had given him plenty of time to consider the pros and cons of him being here. He knew that it was probably a mistake, yet he couldn't bring himself to leave. He had to see her. He'd wait here all night if he had to.

Nothing like going hobo to demonstrate your love.

Still, he wished she'd hurry up. The longer he waited, the more nervous he got. Dan dug in his pocket for a much needed cigarette, lit up and took a deep drag. There, that was better.

"Mind if I have some of that?"

Dan span around to see Vanessa's roommate standing next to him, hands on her hips. For the life of him, he still couldn't see what had made Vanessa room with someone like her. She was a notorious bitch and a total diva.

"Sure," said Dan, trying to sound nonchalant. For some reason, his cheeks felt surprisingly warm. Blair thanked him and raised the cigarette to her lips, staining it with her plum coloured Stila lip gloss.

"I needed that. So, I guess you want to come in?"

"Please. I'm here to see Vanessa," he added, somewhat unnecessarily.

Blair rolled her expertly lined eyes. "I didn't think you were here to see me."

Dan followed Blair to the door of Vanessa's apartment. She looked so out of place in Williamsburg and Dan couldn't help but wonder why she living here, rather than in some luxurious Upper East Side penthouse.

Long story.

"You know Vanessa's dating my stepbrother right?" Blair asked him, somewhat accusingly, even though it wasn't like she really cared whether Vanessa cheated on Aaron or not.

"Yes. But, um, Vanessa and I, we've kind of got this on-off relationship and..."

Blair laughed hollowly. "Oh yes, I know all about those," she said.

"Really?" said Dan. "But I thought that you and your boyfriend were New York's Golden Couple?"

"Not anymore," Blair sniffed. "I caught him cheating on me with Serena on senior spa day."

Dan felt himself turning red. It wasn't so long ago that he had been caught cheating on Vanessa with a crazed poetess. "I'm sorry," he offered. "I dated Serena, you know."

"Oh yeah," said Blair. She'd completely forgotten about Serena's brief flirtation with Dan. Of course, she hadn't been speaking to Serena when it had happened, so she wasn't entirely sure of the details. "She's kind of a flake. She and Nate won't last."

"Do you think you guys will ever get back together?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's like, me and Nate are so perfect for each other, but life keeps getting in the way."

"I know exactly what you mean," Dan laughed bitterly. "Can't live with each other, can't live without each other."

"Totally," Blair agreed. It was nice to talk to someone who actually understood. Now that she thought about it, Dan and Vanessa's relationship was a lot like hers and Nate's. Why had she and Vanessa never talked about it before?

Um, maybe because she's dating your stepbrother?

"Well, if Vanessa's anything like me, she'll drop any guy she's dating once her leading man shows up."

Dan looked confused. "I'm Vanessa's leading man?"

Blair nodded. "Oh, absolutely. She and Aaron won't last, not when she's got a guy like you."

Dan suddenly felt warm all over. He'd never realised before how pretty Blair was, but standing this close to her, it seemed incredible that he hadn't noticed. There seemed to be a kind of infectious energy radiating from her that made her hard not to marvel at."Well, thanks," he smiled sheepishly.

"Don't mention it. So are you here to woo Vanessa back?" Blair asked, poking him lightly in the ribs.

"Oh yes, I'm going to throw her against the fridge and make mad, passionate love to her," Dan joked.

"Ugh. Please. We have to eat in here!" she cried in mock-disgust.

"You're just jealous," he accused her playfully.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"You sound like a five year old."

"You started it."

"See what I mean?"

Dan laughed. "You know, you're actually kind of fun. I can see why Vanessa likes living with you."

Blair looked at him, bemused. "Why wouldn't she?"

"Well," Dan sensed he'd said too much and stared down at his black-and-white chequered Vans.

"Because I'm Blair Warldorf, Upper East Side princess and uptight megabitch?" said Blair accusingly.

Nicely put.

"Well, I wouldn't have said it like that," Dan muttered, not taking his eyes off of his shoes.

"It's okay," Blair said, surprising herself. She even managed a laugh. "I have been acting like an uptight megabitch recently."

Recently?

"Well, you've got an excuse, I mean, with Nate and Serena and everything..."

"Actually, I was thinking my mega-bitchiness was what drove Nate away," Blair sighed. "He likes Serena because she's carefree and sweet and charming and... I don't know how to be all of those things."

"You can only be you," said Dan consolingly. "You shouldn't compare yourself to Serena, you know. You're two totally different people."

"I know that, but no matter how hard I try she always looks better than me and people like her better than me and she gets all the things that I want, without even trying." Blair's eyes were staring to tear up a little and she blinked furiously. Nevertheless, it still felt good to open up to someone about how she felt towards Serena.

"Not everyone likes her better than you. You're Blair Warldorf! My little sister worships you!" Actually, she worshiped Serena and was kind of afraid of Blair, but she'd probably do anything to get into her little clique. "Everywhere you go you're surrounded by admirers, you're probably just so busy thinking about what Serena's got that you don't even notice."

Despite herself, Blair's lips curled up into a small smile. "You've got your share of admirers too," she reminded him. "Remember in the steam room on the spa day, when all the girls were talking about how in love with you they were?"

"Yeah, I remember," said Dan, smiling. "I also remember that you insisted that you were not in love with me."

Blair batted her eyelashes at him. "I say the craziest things."

V gets a little surprise

Vanessa Abrams had had the worst day ever. Not only had she spilled coffee all over herself, stepped in gum and been forced to sift through thousands of shitty, soppy poems as the editor for Rancor magazine, her camera was now broken.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Vanessa cried. Now what was she going to do? It wasn't like she could afford another one and with the summer coming up, what the hell was she going to do until college?

Get a job, maybe?

She let herself into her Williamsburg apartment building and trudged up the stairs, hoping that her roommate, Blair Warldorf, was waiting with tea and sympathy. Or better yet, vodka and sympathy.

"Yo, Blair," Vanessa called as she walked inside, slamming the door shut behind her. She kicked off her black combat boots and returned to fiddling with her camera, in a vain attempt to get it working.

"Vanessa! Guess what! Someone's here to see you!" Blair trilled, sounding pleased with herself.

Great, Vanessa thought, rolling her eyes. She really wasn't in the mood to see anyone right now- not even her boyfriend, Aaron. All they did when they met up together was have sex, and quite frankly, Vanessa wasn't in the mood.

"Hey," said a familiar voice.

Vanessa's jaw dropped. "Dan!" she exclaimed. He was the last person she'd been expecting to see. What the hell was he doing here?

"I- I came to tell you something," said Dan, giving her that cute half smile she'd always loved. His brown eyes were visible due to a tidier haircut and he wasn't shaking quite as much as he usually was. After she got over the shock, she realised that it was actually good to see him. She felt... relieved, as though she'd been holding her breath ever since he'd left.

"Uh... okay, so tell me!" said Vanessa, trying to sound light and carefree, rather than confused. She wasn't the kind of girl to get stupid over boys. She was down-to-earth, matter-of-fact, no-bullshit Vanessa, but there was something about Dan that just brought it out in her.

"So I was voted to be this year's graduation speaker," he told her shyly.

Vanessa let out a bark of laughter. "Ha! That's hilarious!"

Blair looked from Dan to Vanessa, apparently confused. "You don't seem to be very happy about it."

"Of course he's not happy!" spluttered Vanessa.

"But the role of speaker's an honour," Blair reminded her.

"Exactly! It's so... not Dan!"

Blair watched disdainfully as Vanessa continued to laugh. Dan was staring at the floor again, looking so cute it made her heart hurt. "Congratulations, anyway. I'm speaker too!"

Vanessa stopped laughing at once. "She caved? Congrats!" She high-fived her roommate. Dan had never seen Vanessa high-five anyone before. It was so cheesy. It was so...

Not Vanessa?

"It only took, like, ten minutes," Blair informed her roommate proudly.

"Blair had already written her speech," Vanessa told Dan, nudging him in the ribs.

"That was optimistic of you. I've got no idea what to say in mine," he said despairingly, running his hands through his unruly brown hair.

"I'll help you!" Blair offered enthusiastically.

"You'd really do that?" said Dan, sounding wary.

"Of course!" Blair grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her desk. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Vanessa turned around and slowly retreated to her room. She had a feeling she wasn't going to be missed.

J knows what a big deal is

"I'm home!" Dan called as he let himself into the filthy, crumbling apartment that he shared with his father, Rufus, and little sister, Jenny. The apartment was full to burst with junk and it was almost impossible to find anything you needed. Right now, on top of being dirty, it also smelled disgusting, which could only mean one thing: Rufus was cooking.

"Just in time for dinner!" Rufus growled cheerfully. He looked somewhat like a middle-aged lion with terrible dress sense. He was currently wearing a pair of pink tracksuit pants that looked as though they were Jenny's and a yellow vest. His mane of grizzly hair was pulled back into bunches with green elastic bands and he was badly in need of a shave.

"Great," Dan replied unenthusiastically. Rufus' cooking was notoriously bad- tonight they were having what looked like burnt scrambled egg with curried cauliflower.

"Where have you been?" Jenny asked as she entered the kitchen, wrinkling her nose at the stench of her father's cooking. "Ugh, dad, you can't seriously expect me to eat that, can you?"

"I was uh..." Dan didn't really want to tell Jenny that he'd been at Vanessa's apartment, although come to think of it, he hadn't really seen her that much. "I was with Blair Warldorf," he said finally.

Jenny's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Yeah, she was helping me write my graduation speech." Dan didn't really feel like discussing it any further. He hardly believed it himself. Blair had been so sweet to help him with his speech like that, and unless he was much mistaken, she'd even flirted with him a little. But he didn't really want Jenny to know all of this. She'd just blow it out of proportion and say something stupid to Blair. Besides, it wasn't like Blair could be genuinely interested in him, right? She was in love with Nate, and had been forever.

"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! You hung out with Blair Warldorf? Blair Warldorf helped you write your speech! Ohmigod! I cannot believe this!" Jenny reached for her phone and began to frantically stab at the buttons.

"It's not like it's a big deal," Dan muttered, annoyed. Why did Jenny have to make everything into such a drama? So Blair had helped him with his graduation speech. It wasn't a big deal, was it?

Actually, he kind of hoped that it was.

The morning after

Blair was in a better mood than she had been all week as she and Vanessa stepped out of their taxi and began to ascend Constance Billiard's stone steps.

"Beautiful day," she remarked cheerfully.

"How very British of you," said Vanessa wryly. "So, did you finish Dan's speech last night?"

"No, actually, he's coming over again tonight to finish it off," Blair smiled. "Is that alright with you?"

"Yes!" said Vanessa, sounding far too high-pitched. Luckily, Blair didn't seem to notice. "That's fine. Why would I care?"

"Because he's your ex and everything," Blair shrugged.

"I'm with Aaron now," said Vanessa, attempting to sound offbeat. "Anyway, nothing happened between you guys, right?"

"No, no," Blair assured her. "I just didn't want you to feel weird about it or anything. I mean, if I was in your position and Nate was coming over I'd be completely freaking out-" Blair stopped short. There stood Nate Archibald himself, as though she had conjured him up just by saying his name. Next to him was Serena van der Woodsen, looking as infuriatingly perfect as ever. Serena was wearing the same navy blue skirt and grey suede flats she'd been wearing yesterday. So she'd stayed over Nate's house. Blair felt her blood begin to boil.

"Blair!" Serena cried, hurrying towards her old friend, hand in hand with Nate. "Hi. How are you?" She kissed both Blair's and Vanessa's cheeks, then stood there, a little awkwardly, waiting for someone to say something.

"I'm fucking great," said Blair. "My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend and now they think that they've got the right to fucking talk to me, but whatever."

"Blair, I'm so sorry," said Serena earnestly. Her navy blue eyes were completely sincere. But if she was really so fucking sorry, then why was she still holding hands with Blair's boyfriend?

But then Blair thought about it. She thought about what she'd do if their positions were reversed? Would she have refrained from hooking up with Nate just because he was Serena's boyfriend? Of course she wouldn't have. And weirdly enough, she didn't feel jealous when she looked at their interlocked fingers. Hurt? Yes. Angry? Yes. But not jealous. Instead, she thought about Dan and a small smile crept onto her face, but she quickly erased it with a guilty glance at Vanessa.

"Look, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me eventually," said Blair, curving her Stila-glossed lips into a gracious smile. "But please, just give me some space for a while. You owe me that much," she added bitchily, and with that she turned on her Stella McCartney heel and walked towards her first lesson, Vanessa by her side.


	2. Chapter 2

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Rubbing salt into the wounds

It seems that things really aren't going poor B's way anymore. Not only did she catch her best friend and boyfriend getting steamy in the shower, she was she forced to witness a very loved up N escorting S to school... How very gentlemanly of him. Shame he's not so gentlemanly when it comes to juggling a pair of beautiful girls we all know...

Finals stress

Yes, it's nearly that time again- finals are upon us. Yes, they're important but try not to stress out too much- it's not good for the complexion. Besides, if you're struggling why not get take a leaf out of D's book and get a sexy study buddy to help you out?

Sightings

J following B round at lunch... Why so curious, J? S and N getting out of a taxi, their clothes somewhat askew, and stumbling up the steps of N's townhouse. Naughty! B practising her graduation speech in Barney's dressing rooms. D buying expensive cologne at the Perfume Shop... Trying to impress anyone? V snapping pictures of a dead pigeon with a disposable camera; feeling angst-y, are we?

Your email

Q: Dear Gossip Girl,

My girlfriend's been kind of distant lately. I think she might be pining for her ex. Any ideas on how to woo her back?

-HippyHarvard

A: Dear Hippy,

If your girlfriend is who I think she is, then perhaps it's foolish to stand in the way of true love. However, if you're not the kind of guy who gives up easily, I'm pretty sure a new camera will do the trick...

-Gossip Girl

Q: Gossip Girl,

I luv ur site. What will u do when every1 gradu8s?

-n00b

A: Dear n00b,

That's for me to know and you to find out. Would you like a dictionary as a graduation present?

-Gossip Girl

Remember, my darlings, that after graduation lies a hot and sultry summer for all to enjoy. So don't feel sad, because as one door closes, another one opens. And this particular door is going to lead you to the hottest summer ever, so hang in there. Remember, you've always got that emergency bottle of Ketel One stashed under your bed.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl

The rules of infidelity

"Thank you so much for this Blair," said Dan. His speech was fantastic. If anyone had nominated him as some sort of joke, they'd be sorry for it. It was earnest, funny, moving... everything that you'd want in a speech to sum up your high school experience.

"It was nothing," said Blair, waving a perfectly manicured hand.

"Seriously, though, I want to do something to say thank you... Is there anything you'd like?" Dan wanted to offer to take her out to dinner, but he was worried that was too forward.

"Nothing I can think of," Blair toyed with the strap of her white D&G watch. What she really wanted was for Dan to ask her out but... He wouldn't. He was in love with Vanessa.

"Of course; you're the girl who has everything," Dan teased.

"Oh shut up- don't play the tortured lonely poet card," Blair shot back, unable to keep the flirtatiousness out of her voice or her smile.

"Believe it or not, some girls actually think it's cute," Dan grinned.

"Who says this girl doesn't?"

Dan was suddenly aware that Blair was standing very close to him. He could see every tiny freckle on her nose, every eyelash and every curve of her mouth. His heart was beating very hard.

"How about," he murmured, "to say thank you, I cook you dinner?"

Blair felt like her heart was melting. He was offering to cook for her! No guy had ever done that for her before. Nate just wanted to order Chinese and smoke pot, then she'd have to sit there and listen to the incoherent crap he babbled about being mellow and the beauty of life. She felt a sudden pang of sympathy for Serena.

"How about yes?"

"How about I-"

"Hey guys!" Vanessa yelled. Blair instantly took a step back from Dan. Had they just had a... moment? Her whole body felt tingly. If only Vanessa had waited a few more minutes before she came crashing through the door? Blair felt a sudden annoyance towards her roommate.

"Vanessa! What's up?" Dan greeted her as she entered.

"Aaron brought me a new camera!" Vanessa beamed, setting down a shiny Nikon on the desk. "Oh, I see you finished your speech. That's great."

Now you two don't have to hang out anymore, she thought bitterly to herself. Vanessa didn't think that Dan would go for a girl like Blair- she was way too conformist for him- but she couldn't be sure. Blair was hot, and keeping her away from Dan wasn't exactly a bad idea.

"Do you think you'll be okay with the delivery and stuff?" Vanessa asked. "I know how nervous you get about speaking in front of crowds," she added sympathetically, craftily reminding Blair that she was the one who knew Dan best. Dan was hers, not Blair's.

Isn't she forgetting something?

"Yeah, I'm actually kind of excited to deliver it," Dan grinned. "It's a really amazing speech." He felt that he should tell her he was cooking Blair dinner to thank her, but something told him to hold his tongue.

"Oh." Vanessa looked less than pleased. "Well, I really need to test out this camera properly so... I'll see you." She grabbed her camera and left, despite the fact that she'd only just got home.

"We didn't do anything wrong, did we?" Blair asked nervously. She was wearing a loose silk shirt and amazing Stella McCartney jeans and she suddenly felt over dressed.

"Nah," said Dan. "I'm not even with Vanessa, remember?"

"Yeah but-"

"Relax," Dan told her, despite the fact that he was constantly jittery from the amount of coffee he consumed. "She's with Aaron, anyway."

"I guess you can't cheat on someone who you're not with," Blair agreed, chewing her lip. "It's like, the rules of infidelity."

"Oh yes," said Dan, a mischievous gleam in his sexy brown eyes. "Infidelity was built on rules."

Laughter is the best medicine

"You sure you'll be okay son?" said Rufus gruffly.

"Yes, yes," Dan told him impatiently, practically shoving him out the door.

"'Bye Dan," Jenny giggled. "Have fun on your date."

"It's not a-" Dan sighed in exasperation. "Goodbye, Jenny."

Dan was sending his sister and father out for dinner tonight. Somehow, he thought that Blair might be put off by his father's interesting dress sense and his sister's tendency to babble incoherently whenever she spoke to one of the "cool girls".

He sighed and turned his attention towards the stove. He was cooking spaghetti Bolognese, which was one of the few things he actually knew how to make. He glanced around the tiny kitchen. He'd tidied up a bit earlier, but the place was still a complete mess. He hoped that Blair wouldn't mind.

It was so weird that he was standing their cooking dinner for one of New York's most talked about girls. It was even weirder that it was her he'd been thinking about all day instead of Vanessa. Earlier on, he'd seen her and Aaron making out in front of the subway entrance and he only felt the faintest twang of jealousy. It was like the world had been turned completely upside down.

"Knock knock?" Blair chimed, breezing into the kitchen. "Sorry, I rang the bell but there was no answer."

"Oh, that hasn't worked in years," said Dan. "As you can probably tell, we don't get many visitors."

Blair surveyed the messy kitchen and refrained from wrinkling her nose. Who could live in this mess?

"I can certainly tell you don't have a maid," she said. Usually, that kind of thing would come out sounding bitchy but being around Dan seemed to lighten her tone.

Dan laughed. "I actually tidied up today."

Blair blanched in mock-horror. "I dread to think what it was like before."

"Pretty much the same, but with cockroaches."

"Ew!" Blair squealed.

"Kidding!" Dan laughed and poked her with the clean end of the wooden spoon he was using to stir the Bolognese.

"Hey, can I try some of that?" Blair enquired.

"Sure," Dan shrugged. He scooped a little of the sauce onto the spoon and held it up to her mouth.

"Mmm," Blair murmured in appreciation. "It's so good! I've always wanted to try spaghetti Bolognese."

Dan goggled at her. "You're telling me that you've never had spaghetti Bolognese before?"

Blair shook her head. "Rosa always refused to make it."

"Rosa?"

"The cook." Blair rolled her eyes. "She had this real vendetta against the Italians, and it's not like my mom can cook."

"My dad can't either. Last night he made curried cauliflower." Dan flinched at the memory. He was so glad his dad wasn't here right now. Blair would take one look at him and run screaming.

"Gross! Did your mom teach you to cook?"

"She left when I was twelve," said Dan, somewhat awkwardly. "Dad's cooking was totally inedible and after surviving on takeout for a few months, Jenny and I kind of figured out how to cook."

"I'm sorry," Blair murmured. "I know how it feels. My dad left my mom three years ago- for a man." It was kind of funny, but she and Dan had a lot more in common than she would have thought. He was a person who she could really talk to about things. Things that no-one else understood, like the complications of on-off relationships and AWOL parents.

"Oh."

"It's not that bad actually," said Blair, perking up a bit. "I get double the Christmas presents!"

"Lucky. All I get is a pair of age twelve lederhosen."

Blair started to laugh, and pretty soon Dan joined in. Before long they were clutching their stomachs, tears rolling down their cheeks. It felt so good to laugh and not care about anything else. Standing there in Dan's cluttered kitchen, they were both much happier than they had been in a very long time.

D is the one meal B can keep down

"So I decided it would be a good idea to drive to Nate's rehab and check myself in," Blair finished. She'd just recounted the events that had lead to her checking into rehab in a desperate attempt to win back her ex-boyfriend in February, during a brief spell of what Blair liked to think was temporary insanity. "Don't ask me what I was thinking."

"I wasn't going to. I'm too afraid of the answer," Dan grinned impishly as Blair whacked him with her buttery brown leather Coach bag. They were sat on the floor of Dan's living room, empty spaghetti Bolognese plates in their laps.

"You little-" Dan grabbed Blair's thin wrist. She tried to twist out of it but he was too strong for her, so she tried to slap him with her other hand, but he grabbed hold of that too. Then she began kicking him with her pedicured feet and managed to push him backwards somehow, so she was lying on top of him. He rolled over and pinned her arms above her head. Their faces were mere inches away from each other. They were both breathing very heavily.

Blair had never been so turned on in her life. Dan was on top of her. She loved the feel of his scrawny body on top of hers so much that she just wanted to rip his clothes off with her teeth.

Kiss me kiss me kiss me, she chanted inwardly. Dan's big brown eyes were exploring her face. He looked so intense and sexy that it took all Blair had to stop herself from writhing around underneath him in ecstasy. She held his gaze and didn't even have to try and look sexy. She didn't even care how she looked. For once in her life, she didn't care about turning her life into an Audrey Hepburn movie. All she wanted was for Dan to kiss her, and see what happened next.

Dan's face was coming closer. She could smell him- coffee and cigarettes and sex. Her whole body trembled with anticipation.

Bring bring! Blair's mobile began shriek. Dan jerked away from her as though he'd been burned. Blair grabbed her phone and was horrified to see that it was Vanessa calling. She felt a nauseating wave of guilt.

"It's Vanessa," she whispered hoarsely, biting her lip.

God, she was irresistible, Dan thought. "You'd better answer it," he told her gruffly.

"Hello?" Blair said, trying to sound as natural as possible.

"Hey, it's me," came Vanessa's voice from the other end. "Do you want to, like, order a Chinese and rent a movie tonight?"

"Um," Blair tried to come up with an excuse. She didn't want to leave. "I'm kind of, um, busy right now. I'm with, um, my peer group. Serena and I are taking them out for dinner."

"I thought you told her to leave you alone?"

Enough with the fucking questions! Blair wanted to scream. Instead she took a deep breath and replied calmly, "We've made up. We always do. I'm so over Nate," she added, with a swift glance at Dan. "He was just this massive stoner loser and to be honest, I think I need someone who thinks with his head, not his dick."

"I get you," Vanessa said. "It's like, all Aaron and I ever do is have sex. I asked him to go see a movie with me the other day and he suggested that we make our own. God, I miss Dan."

Guilt surged through Blair. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be? Anyway, we're off to college soon. There'll be tons of guys there." Blair was suddenly acutely aware that Dan was listening.

"Yeah, I guess. But Dan and I are like, meant to be, you know? Aaron's cute and everything, but once we graduate..." Blair could practically hear Vanessa's shrug down the phone.

"I thought that about Nate and I, but if you keep trying and it doesn't work it's just... Anyway, I've got to go now. We're about to order. 'Bye!" Blair clicked off before her roommate could respond. She massaged her head with her knuckles. Vanessa had a true friend to her these past few weeks, and she was repaying her by flirting with the guy she'd been in love with since forever?

"I'm a terrible person," she said aloud.

"Maybe I'm into bad girls," said Dan suggestively.

"Dan... I've gotta go," said Blair, snatching up her bag.

"Blair wait-"

"She's my roommate! She's been so good to me and I'm repaying her by being here, with you, flirting with you and-" falling for you, she added silently.

"I'm not even with her anymore!" Dan shouted.

"She's in love with you!"

"What if I'm not in love with her?"

"It's best if I just go," said Blair quietly, and hurried out of the apartment as fast as her Manolo wedge heels would carry her.

Old habits die hard

"I'm here to collect an order under the name of Serena?" Serena van der Woodsen told the semi-cute Asian guy behind the till.

"One minute please," he told her, and gestured to a row of spindly blue chairs. Serena smiled at him and took a seat. She and Nate were ordering Chinese for the third time this week, but fed up of staying in, Serena had volunteered to come and get it herself. She loved cosying up with Nate and eating egg fried rice on his bed, but she felt like she'd hardly seen the sun at all lately. It was probably best that they both kept a low profile for a while, what with Blair still so furious, but it was hardly likely that Serena would run into Blair here.

"Serena?" said a familiar voice, as the welcome bell chimed. Serena looked up to see Vanessa Abrams entering the small waiting area.

"Oh, hey." Serena stood up and flung her arms around her shaven headed friend.

"What are you doing here?" Vanessa asked in confusion. "I thought you and Blair were taking your peer group out for a meal?"

"Um, no," Serena told her. "I have no idea what you're talking about... I'm just collecting a Chinese for me and Nate."

"Oh," Vanessa frowned. "She said something about it earlier." Why would Blair lie? What was she hiding?

If only you knew.

"So, um, I hear you and Aaron are dating," Serena said, trying to gloss over the awkwardness. She was forever landing Blair in trouble. Why hadn't she just pretended she'd forgotten or something? Blair was going to hate her even more now, if that was even possible.

"Yeah," Vanessa murmured vaguely, her mind still on Blair.

"Um, that's great. You guys make a really great couple."

"Order for Serena!" the cashier called.

"That's me!" she cried, relieved to have an excuse to end the awkward conversation. "I'll see you at school, Vanessa," she smiled.

Serena stepped out of the stuff waiting room and cringed. No matter what happened, she always seemed to ruin things for Blair.


	3. Chapter 3

.net

Bad behaviour

Possibly my very favourite kind. And it's been in abundance recently on the UES; first there's S and N's impromptu hook-up at Senior Spa Day, then there's B and D engaging in some late night wrestling... behind V's back. So, my little darlings, why not follow the trend? Dare to indulge! It's nearly graduation after all, and we deserve it.

Dinner dates

I'm all for being wined and dined at some of New York's hottest restaurants, but there's something oddly romantic about D cooking dinner for B, who's probably been to so many classy places that she's jaded. So gents, although us ladies love it when you splash the cash, save your dough for the fancy jewellery and cook us some dinner... and possibly breakfast in bed.

Sightings

S dashing out of Shin Yu's Chinese, carrying take out boxes and wearing a guilty expression... and some truly fabulous Seven jeans. N placing an order at Tiffany for something expensive... and hopefully a little more tasteful than that gold heart pendant he bought B when they first started dating. J and her daddy at Luigi's Italian- been sent out of the house, have we? B flagging a cab outside D's apartment building. Naughty! V tripping over a homeless guy on the way home from Shin Yu's. Those hobos really do get in the way.

Your email

-Gossip Girl

My sister's rooming with this total UES princess- it's so unlikely. Apparently she's decorated the apartment (which we used to share) lavender and filled it with expensive furniture- how can I ensure that my sister doesn't become one of those label-whore bitches when I'm touring Europe?

-Rubes

-Dear Rubes

If your sister's roommate isn't careful, they aren't going to be living together for much longer anyway, so I wouldn't worry.

-Gossip Girl

-Dear GG,

So I totally deserved the role of graduation speaker but this girl in my year who's like, a total bitch, totally bribed our headmistress and there wasn't even a vote. Any advice?

-RainOrShine

-Dear R.O.S.

You want my advice? Get over it.

-Gossip Girl

That's all for now my lovelies- finals start next week and I'm getting my rest. Who am I kidding- I'm off to scrounge more gossip for you, so you don't have to. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl

You've gotta be kind to be cruel...

"Honey I'm hoooome!" Blair attempted nonchalance as she swung open the badly-in-need-of-repainting apartment door. She was greeted by the smell of Chinese food and her stomach turned over in guilt.

"Hey," Vanessa called, not bothering to move from her position on the couch. A container of untouched egg fried rice sat beside her, and Blair eyed it hungrily. She needed something to quench the guilt.

"What's up?" Blair carelessly tossed her pale grey Abercrombie & Fitch cardigan to one side and padded into the living room.

"How was dinner?" Vanessa asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Boring," Blair rolled her eyes. "Total chick-flick garbage, but I think the peer group enjoyed it."

"And Serena?"

"She was texting Nate the whole time. I doubt she even realised what we were seeing." Blair tried to inject a little bitterness in her voice, but she simply didn't have the heart anymore. Not when she was feeling this confusing mix of happiness and shame and her thoughts were centred around a totally different guy.

"That's weird, because I ran into Serena at the Chinese earlier, and she didn't seem to know anything about your movie plans," said Vanessa accusingly, placing her hands on her hips. In this light, her bald head seemed extra menacing and Blair noticed that she was still wearing her black Doc Martins, and hoped that one wouldn't end up kicking her backside.

"You're acting like a jealous girlfriend," Blair laughed nervously, attempting to diffuse the tension. She didn't want to fight with Vanessa.

"I just don't get why you would lie to-" Vanessa stopped mid sentence, feeling as though an ice cube had just slid down her back. "Dan," she breathed softly.

"What?" Blair suddenly pretending to be very interested in her recently-pedicured toes, which were painted a shade of smoky purple. A flush was gradually making its way along her cheekbones and across her nose.

Vanessa stood up in one aggressive move and stalked towards Blair like a panther hunting its prey. "Fuck. You were with Dan. You smell like him. You were fucking with fucking Dan!"

Sensing she was caught, Blair knew it would be foolish to deny it. "Nothing happened, I swear."

"Nothing happened? Nothing happened?" repeated Vanessa incredulously. "You go and meet my boyfriend-"

"He's not your boyfriend," Blair reminded her, her cobalt blue eyes glinting with triumph. "You've got no right to get angry at me."

"Yes but you know how I feel about him!" Vanessa shrieked.

"That's why I didn't do anything!" Blair half-lied. "All it was was that he was cooking me dinner to say thanks for helping him with his graduation speech. Nothing more to it."

"Bullshit," Vanessa spat.

"Look, Vanessa, he was just being nice. He's crazy about you. He... he told me so."

Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief. "He is?"

"Uh-huh," Blair told her, not trusting herself to say anything more. A wave of paranoia suddenly took her under. What if Dan was still in love with Vanessa? It seemed likely- they were so perfect for each other with their counter-culture images and interest in the arts. Blair couldn't give a fuck about the arts, except of course, the art of shopping. She wasn't going to shave her head or tear up her cashmere. She twirled a lock of her chestnut brown hair around her finger, examining the pleasing lack of split ends and wondering if Dan found it repulsive that she cared so much about her appearance.

"And you- you don't like him at all?" Vanessa looked hopefully at her friend.

"No." Blair hoped that Vanessa didn't notice how shaky the word sounded. She flipped open her diamond encrusted cell phone and showed Vanessa her inbox. "See, we've never even exchanged a text."

Vanessa looked reassured, but Blair's heart was pounding in her chest. Suddenly, the smell of leftover Chinese was repulsive, just like the gum stuck to Vanessa's left boot. She dug her nails into her moisturised, lavender scented palms and bit her lip, hard.

"So, do you think that I should invite Dan over or something?"

Was this a test, Blair wondered. If she said no, it would become all too obvious that there was a... thing... going on between her and Dan, but if she said yes... It was almost too horrible to think about. Dan and Vanessa were made for each other, and she was just some minor Upper East Side complication.

"Yes," Blair cringed, balling her hands into fists. "That's a great idea." She couldn't believe this was happening. Was a cute, artsy poet really going to be taken away from her, the Audrey-Hepburn-esque brunette, by a shaven headed Williamsburg hipster?

Vanessa grabbed her scratched up black cell phone and tapped out a message to Dan, stabbing the worn plastic keys with her thumbs. She was weirdly excited now that her anger with Blair had- mostly- evaporated. It was stupid to think that Dan would be into a girl like Blair.

Yes, but we're young. We do stupid things.

Come on over, D...

From: Vanessa Abrams

To: Dan Humphrey

I've been thinking a lot about you recently and Blair told me what you said the other night. Come over tomorrow night. V.

Sent: 22.37

Received: 13.01

Oh na na, that's not my name...

Dan stared at his phone screen. Even though it was partially obscured by a long diagonal scratch from where

he'd dropped it once, there was no mistaking it. Vanessa wanted him to come over, because of something that Blair had said to her. Blair, who he'd almost kissed last night. Blair, who he'd cooked dinner for and wrestled with.

What the fuck? he thought, but then maybe she wanted him to come over to kick his ass over cooking for Blair, even though she had no right to be jealous.

Who said she was?

He tried to conjure up another feeling as he shoved his battered phone back in his crappy jeans' pocket. He only turned it on once every few days and rarely found a message awaiting him, certainly not one like this... A few days ago he would have been over the fucking moon to get the text. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Blair.

If she'd encouraged Vanessa to invite him over there was no way she liked him. But she'd been about to let him kiss her last night, hadn't she?

So?

When Dan thought of Vanessa, it normally made him want to write poetry and throw up at the same time. But now he felt a feeble kind of affection, not a passion that was painful and wonderful and awe inspiring. Blair on the other hand... How did he feel about Blair? He didn't know her that well, but she just seemed to have a kind of... sparkle. It sounded corny, but she seemed to radiate this shimmery, beautiful energy that made Dan feel alive. He'd barely touched his coffee and cigarettes since he met Blair.

A mark of true love, indeed.

Three hours later, Dan was free and seated in a cab on his way to Williamsburg, unsure of who it was he was excited to see. Blair was amazing, she really was, but he'd known and loved Vanessa for such a long time... They were so right together. Everyone said so. He shifted uncomfortably on the fake leather cab seats, noticing the driver was shaven-headed like Vanessa. But the thought of running his hands all over her stubbly head just didn't excite him the way it used to.

And why's that?

His head and his heart were telling him two different things. Dan could feel a poem coming on.

Oh no.

Your bald head,

Your long brown hair,

Have got me, in despair,

My head and my heart,

My heart and my head,

Just don't seem to agree.

It was, admittedly, a pile of shit, but he couldn't think of any other words to express how he felt. His confusion was messing with his poetic ability.

Shame.

He felt a cold squeeze of dread as the driver pulled up outside Vanessa's all-too-familiar building. He'd even lived here for a while, but it felt more exciting knowing that Blair was inside. The bricks didn't seem so shabby, the graffiti looked more artistic... Even the gross homeless guy outside seemed to be in a better mood.

"Come on up," Vanessa barked when Dan pressed the button. He hurried up the stairs, dodging round some kid's discarded hubba bubba and reached the top gasping for breath and needing a cigarette more than he had done in days. Ignoring his cravings, he rapped on the apartment door and jiggled around awkwardly whilst he waited for one of the girls to answer.

"Hey," Vanessa greeted him, wearing what he thought was an attempt at a seductive smile and a tight black tank top. He felt a pang of guilt for being disappointed.

"Hey," Dan replied, entering the newly-lavender sitting room. Once he'd gotten past the initial shock he realised that he preferred the Blair-ed up version of the room.

"So, I've been thinking about you a lot recently," Vanessa told him coyly, repeating the contents of her text.

"Uh, yeah. I've been, um, thinking about you too. That was the real reason I came over the other day, you know."

Vanessa felt her knees go slightly shaky at the much-missed sound of his voice. She toyed with a belt hook on her black jeans. "Do you want to, maybe, go up on the roof?"

Dan nodded and followed her, scanning the apartment for Blair. He felt oddly disloyal going up to the roof with Vanessa, but it wasn't as though anything was going to happen.

Oh, really?

"It was sweet of you to cook Blair dinner the other night," Vanessa told him, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She fiddled with the hatch of the door to the roof, determinedly not looking at him.

"Did she... did she say anything about me?" Dan asked her anxiously, digging in his pocket for a Camel unfiltered.

Vanessa swung open the door onto the roof and hauled herself up. "Not much," she said, deciding it would be better not to tell Dan about their conversation. Besides, it wouldn't exactly be a bad thing if she made it clear that Blair was very not interested in him.

"Oh."

Dan swung himself up after Vanessa and followed her to a pile of pre-arranged blankets on the hot tarmac, which had been baking in the sun. "The view's great up here," he offered lamely.

"You should come up here and write poetry sometime," Vanessa offered eagerly. "In fact, you could write some right now..."

Dan didn't say anything and instead lifted his cigarette to his lips and lit it with his crappy neon-green lighter. "How's Aaron?" he enquired.

Vanessa paled a little. "He's fine."

"How would he feel if he knew you were up here with me?"

"He doesn't have to know."

So she was trying to seduce him. The problem was, Dan didn't know whether or not he wanted to be seduced.

"Have a drink," said Vanessa, pushing a glass towards him. Dan took a tentative sip and discovered that it was a not-altogether-unpleasant mix of vodka, wine and orange juice. Feeling uncomfortable, he took a few large gulps.

"You know that Aaron and I aren't serious, right?" Vanessa blurted suddenly. Dan glanced at her mid-swallow, completely taken by surprise. Part of him was screaming to get out, to get out now, but another part, the part that was hurt by Blair's rejection, the part that the alcohol was already affecting, was telling him that it might be interesting to stick around.

"You make a nice couple," said Dan stupidly.

Vanessa set her glass aside and lunged at him.

At first he didn't realise what was happening. All he knew was that one minute he was drinking as fast as he could and the next he was being pounced on by his shaven headed ex. But suddenly he realised how much he'd missed her, how nice it was to feel her body on his, to be kissed and loved and licked and adored...

Their mouths were moving fast. They couldn't get enough of each other. Everything was new and exciting and all he wanted was more. Her mouth moved away from his and went downwards to kiss his neck. It was an explosion of taste and touch and passion and heat and... He'd never felt anything like like, never been with anyone like...

"Blair..." Dan moaned.

Vanessa jerked away from him as though she'd been burned. "What?" she demanded.

"I- nothing..." Dan could hear the slurs in his own voice.

"Did you say Blair?" Vanessa big brown eyes were shining with tears.

"Vanessa..."

"Get out." She had never looked so menacing as she did now, even in his intoxicated state. What had Vanessa put in that drink?

"I want Blair..." he whimpered, sounding like a child. He couldn't stop his mouth from saying exactly what was on his mind.

"Go and find her then, Dan! Just get the hell away from me!"

Dan couldn't understand why she was so upset. He sat there dumbly, his mouth half open, unable to piece together what had just happened.

"GO!" Vanessa screamed. Dan slowly stood up and stumbled towards the hatch. Vanessa charged forward and shoved him with all her might.

"Hey!" Dan whined. But Vanessa didn't seem to hear him. She was hitting him wherever she could reach, but Dan just didn't understand why...


End file.
